The Pitfalls of DIY Divorce: What You Need to Know

By Sarah J. Jacobs, Family Law Attorney

When facing a divorce, one of the first critical decisions you’ll likely make is how to navigate the legal process. With so many other decisions and concerns about the future, handling the divorce on your own - going the DIY route - might seem like the simplest and most cost-effective solution.

As divorce attorneys, we get the appeal. It’s easy to imagine that doing your own divorce will save you money and help you control the outcome of your divorce. It’s a common mindset for divorcing couples who believe their situation is simple and straightforward. 

The divorce process is not always as simple as it appears at first glance, though. Before committing to doing everything yourself, there are some common pitfalls of DIY divorce you should be aware of. 

4 Common Pitfalls of DIY Divorce

The following are some of the challenges you are likely to encounter if you decide to proceed without a lawyer. 

1. Not realizing how complicated divorce can be

Divorce laws differ from state to state, and even counties within the same state can have different divorce requirements. What’s more, each divorce is unique and what might apply to one set of circumstances might not apply to another. In fact, even experienced divorce lawyers will tell you that no two divorces are the same. It depends on the circumstances that are specific to your case as to how the law will apply to you.

Aside from legal complexities, there are financial issues that will need to consider. If you don’t have a complete picture of the marital estate, this can lead to an unfair division of assets and debts, especially if there are hidden assets or undisclosed debts. This can also impact support agreements, which can cause financial hardships in the future.

The right divorce attorney will look out for your interests and explain your options – from hiring a forensic accountant to helping you come up with a financial plan that fits your goals. 

2. Not understanding legal processes, paperwork requirements, and timelines 

Ready to brush up on divorce law? If you’re DIY-ing your divorce, you’ll need to understand not only substantive legal rulings including case law and statutes, but also processes and timelines for steps like: 

  • Early asset disclosure. Some states require both parties to share information about assets and debts at the start of divorce proceedings. 
  • Mandatory financial affidavits. In some states, both parties must submit net worth statements of assets and liabilities and sources of income. 
  • Ongoing disclosure. It is common (and in some cases mandatory) that any new assets or debts that are incurred during the divorce process must be disclosed to the court.

If you aren’t intimately familiar with the steps required to navigate a divorce to conclusion - like those listed above - your divorce can become complicated quickly.  

What’s more, divorce proceedings have paperwork requirements and strict filing deadlines. Paperwork must be filled out with meticulous attention to detail (including things like page limits, font requirements and sometimes number of lines on a page)—if you fail to dot your i’s and cross your t’s, your divorce could get delayed, or in some cases, dismissed. 

It’s also critical to meet court deadlines, as there are consequences for missing a deadline. For instance, missing the deadline for submitting your financial affidavit can result in court fines or a delay in the divorce process.

You also need to keep track of court appearances when you decide to handle your own divorce. For instance, if you fail to appear in court for a hearing or a trial, the court can enter a default judgment against you. This means the court could grant the other party everything they request without you even getting a chance to present your side of the story.

This attention to detail is something that the right attorney should bring to the table—they’ll work diligently to ensure all your documents are completed according to court rules.

3. Forgetting to think about taxes

Divorce and taxes are an especially complex combination, opening up parties to new obligations, unexpected filing scenarios, and (even more) frustrating paperwork. Without thoughtful legal advice and strategy, complimented by appropriate tax and financial advice from those professionals, you could make one of the many common missteps, such as: 

  • Inaccurately filed deductions and exemptions. It’s often unclear who should claim mortgage interest and charitable contributions. 

  • Improperly dividing property and assets. The division of assets can trigger capital gains tax and affect the tax basis, which can have unexpected financial effects. 

  • Overlooking retirement accounts. 401(k)s, IRAs, and pensions are valuable marital assets that are often divided in a divorce. A Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) is required for these assets to be properly transferred without incurring tax consequences or distribution limitations. The terms of your settlement agreement can impact the distribution of these funds which can have long range tax consequences. 

  • Misunderstanding alimony tax treatment and child tax credits. The tax implications of support payments and which parent gets to claim the child on their taxes has changed, especially since the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017 (TCJA). 

    Before 2018, alimony payments were allowed as a tax deduction for the payor and the recipient had to include it in his or her gross income. From January 1, 2019 onward, alimony payments are not tax deductible for the payor and are not considered income for the recipient for federal tax purposes. The tax impact at the state level differs from one state to the other.

    The TCJA also eliminated dependent exemptions for federal taxes. Prior to the passage of the law, many divorce agreements included provisions outlining which parent could claim the exemption. Some portions of the TCHA are set to expire, so it’s important to know how this would affect your situation.

A family law attorney can help make sure that you are meeting the tax laws during your divorce.

4. Unexpected costs and additional stress

While the expense of hiring a divorce attorney might seem like a lot, it’s a small price to pay compared to the potentially costly pitfalls of DIY divorce. Here’s how a DIY divorce can cost you.

Additional expenses - Filing errors, such as missing information on the documents, can cause delays in the process. This can result in additional court fees or even having to file again. Because you’re not a legal professional, it’s easy to make legal mistakes that can negate any initial savings of a DIY divorce.

An unfair divorce settlement - Omission of crucial financial information can lead to an unfair settlement. And a poorly worded agreement can result in ongoing disputes in future, especially where the terms of the agreement are not well defined or are ambiguous. Unfortunately, this can result in having to go back to court to resolve the issues, which comes at additional legal cost.

Higher emotional costs - Do not ignore the emotional consequences of doing your own divorce. Trying to deal with all of the legal matters at the same time as trying to work and take care of other responsibilities can be overwhelming. This extra load can increase your stress and make it difficult to make good decisions.

An experienced divorce attorney is your strongest advocate throughout the divorce process. They can guide you through the legal system, defend your rights, and help you reach a fair settlement agreement. With an attorney by your side, you can avoid the pitfalls of DIY divorce, reduce your stress, and begin to plan for your future. 


Sarah Jacobs is a Divorce Attorney and mediator in Morristown, New Jersey who has been representing and protecting the rights of her clients for nearly 20 years. Sarah is the co-founder of the family law firm Jacobs Berger, LLC. The attorneys at Jacobs Berger are dedicated to providing dynamic and personalized legal solutions to divorcing families.


Related:

DIY Divorce vs. Hiring a Divorce Attorney

The 10 Key Steps in an Uncontested Divorce

Divorce Paperwork and Documents