Going through a divorce is tough on both parents and their children. And it can be hard to maintain a positive attitude for the benefit of your kids. But you can help minimize the trauma and ease the transition by taking a co-parenting course. These parenting classes for divorce focus on helping parents learn how to end the conflict and successfully co-parent after they separate.
By Tracy Achen, Divorce Coach
Parent classes for divorce usually focus on helping parents learn how to peacefully co-parent their children when they are no longer together. The classes are meant to teach parenting and communication skills to help keep children out of the middle of their parents conflict.
The parents are also taught how to recognize signs of trauma in their children. For example, children may start to act out as a result of anger and frustration, get depressed, or even start to withdrawn socially. Parenting classes can teach parents how to help their child understand their feeling and find appropriate ways to deal with the changes caused by the divorce.
Additionally, parents learn how their own behavior can impact their kids and why they should avoid bad-mouthing the other parent. Parents also learn healthy ways to communicate with their ex so they can reduce the conflict.
Many states now require the completion of a parent education program before a divorce or court order concerning custody will be finalized.
What states require parenting classes for divorce? Currently, there are 18 states that require all divorcing parents with minor children to take a divorced parenting class, including Alaska, Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Hawaii, Illinois, Massachusetts, Missouri, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Utah, Washington, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.
In the rest of the states, parenting classes may be required in certain counties or judicial districts for all parents. The court may also order parents to participate in a parenting class if their divorce is deemed as high conflict. Requiring parents to take a parenting class for divorce may also be at the discretion of the judge presiding over the case.
The aim of these classes is to teach parents how to reduce the tension by ensuring they learn how communicate effective with each other, resolve visitation and child support disputes, and focus on the emotional needs of their children. When children are the focus of their parent’s attention, they are less likely to feel neglected or blame themselves for their parents' divorce.
In states where co-parenting classes are not mandatory, couples are still advised to take the class as well. By focusing on how to deal with issues that affect both parents as well as the children, the impact of divorce can be lessened for the whole family.
In cases where parenting classes are required for divorce, there are specific providers which are approved to administer the classes. The court will usually provide a list of available classes in the area, as well as any online classes which will fulfill the court requirement. You can also ask your lawyer for such a list. It's important to note that most courts require a certificate of completion before finalizing a divorce.
Even if you aren’t required to take a parenting class, you can still ask the court for a list of providers in your area. There are classes offered by community-based providers such as community colleges, the United Way, and various churches. And some counseling centers often offer co-parenting course to the general public. You can start your search for these services by using the internet or calling directly.
Taking an online parenting class is often more convenient and offers a lot more privacy than attending a local class. Online classes often cover the same material as many local classes without the inconvenience of having to take time off work or having to find a baby sitter. You can learn at your own pace or review a section before moving on to the next one. If a co-parenting class isn’t required for your divorce, it will probably be a lot easier to take the class online.
For court ordered parenting classes for divorce, you will need to make sure the court will recognize the online course before you take it. Each state, county, and judge may have different requirements. Therefore, you want to get prior approval from the court before you enroll in an online course to make sure they will accept the certificate of completion. If the court won’t approve the course, you’ll need to attend a local parenting class approved by the court.
One really good online program to check out is The Center for Divorce Education. They offer the Children in Between Program which was created by distinguished psychologist Dr. Donald Gordon. It is an interactive, skills-based approach to helping reduce the stress of divorce on both parents and children.
Take the first step to improving your parenting and co-parenting skills while protecting and enhancing your child’s emotional health by taking a parenting class for divorce.
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