Parenting Tips for Surviving The Post Divorce Holidays

For many people, the holiday season is often a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for divorced moms or those who are going through a divorce, it can also bring stress, uncertainty, and emotional challenges. The post-divorce holidays can feel overwhelming when you are also trying to adapt to co-parenting schedules, dealing with your child’s emotions, and trying to cope with your own feelings of sadness and anger.

The shift from celebrating the holidays as a family unit to having separate celebrations with each parent can be difficult, leaving you wondering how you'll make the season special for your child despite all the changes.

But here’s the good news: with the right mindset and strategies, you can reduce the stress and ensure your child still experiences the magic of the holidays. Your child’s happiness doesn’t have to suffer - together, you can create meaningful and memorable moments. Keep reading to discover how to make this holiday season one filled with warmth and positivity.

Post-Divorce Holidays - Easing Your Child’s Transition

by Brette Sember, Family Law Expert

It's likely that you're having a difficult time coping with the season yourself, which makes it even harder to focus on what your child is experiencing. Follow these tips to help your child survive and to keep your own sanity.

Be sympathetic to your child's emotions

Your child is going to be sad and miss the other parent when holidays are spent with you, no matter how often he sees the other parent. It can be easy to take this as a slap in the face, or a judgment that you're not enough. Instead of getting upset, think about how your child feels and offer comfort and understanding. It will take time for your child to adjust.

Don't force family gatherings

Many separated or divorced parents find that it helps their kids if they can share part of the holidays together as one big family. However, just because this works for other families, doesn't mean it has to work for yours. If you're not comfortable, don't do it. Your child will be happier if she is not subjected to arguments, snide remarks or other hurtful behavior.

Remember that gifts don't make up for the divorce

Getting your child the latest and greatest might make you feel like a good parent, but it can't make up for the divorce. Showering your child in gifts, or worse - competing with the other parent to give the best gift, just creates an artificial and uncomfortable situation.

Give gifts that fit your budget and your comfort level and know that your child can't love you more than he already does. There are plenty of other ways to show your love to your child, so focus on these rather than material ways.

Make plans for time alone

It's likely that your child will spend part of the holiday with the other parent. Instead of feeling depressed and sad, use this time to do something wonderful for yourself, or to make plans for the next time your child is with you. Be sure you don't make your child feel guilty for leaving you to be with the other parent.

Buy yourself a gift

Particularly if your child is young, this year you need to plan to buy yourself a gift. In the past, you may have relied upon your spouse to put some presents under the tree for you. This year, it's up to you. Wrap them if you feel like it and feel free to tell your child they came from Santa. The end of your relationship does not mean you don't deserve gifts.

Help your child buy a gift for their other parent

Take your child shopping for, or help him or her make a gift for the other parent. This gift is not from you, but is from your child. Think of how pleased it will make your child to be able to offer a present to the other parent. Don't expect this to be reciprocated and you won't be disappointed.

Focus on making the most of what you have

It is easy to spend the holidays thinking about how the divorce has changed your life and your child's life. Instead, focus on enjoying and celebrating what you and your child do have. 

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Navigating the holidays after divorce can be challenging at times, but with thoughtful planning and a focus on your child’s well-being, you can create a joyful season. Remember, the holidays aren’t about perfection — they’re about making meaningful memories together. Prioritize self-care and allow yourself some grace as you adjust to this new chapter of your life. With patience, you can turn the post-divorce holidays into a time of warmth, connection, and happiness for both you and your child.

Divorce is challenging no matter the season. But you can get advice and tips to help you get through it by signing up for the Divorce Survival Newsletter. In the meantime, the following articles can also help you deal with other issues when you are facing the holidays after divorce:

Co-parenting after Divorce: Christmas Tips 

Managing Your Kids Holiday Stress 

Holiday Visitation Issues 

Coping with Thanksgiving Traditions