Using Drugs on Our Wedding Day

by Tanya
(Philadelphia, PA)

Yes, that title is the truth. When I met my husband six years ago, he shared with me that he was a recovering alcoholic, and that he had been sober for 6 years. We had a great relationship, we fell in love fast and we fell hard. We had a daughter after dating for a year and everything seemed to be going great. I took him to Miami four years ago for his birthday and he decided out of the blue at dinner that he wanted to have a beer. Despite my disagreement and pleads for him not to, he did anyway. From that day on, his drinking became more excessive.

A couple of years later, we were planning our wedding, and he was drinking every day. His drinking was an issue for me, but not a big problem. We married on October 23 two years ago. The Monday after the wedding, we were scheduled to leave on our Honeymoon cruise. I noticed something very wrong with him. He was slurring his words and making references to things that happened two days before. I reached out to his best friend and described what was happening and he immediately asked me if he had taken any pills. I didn't know how to respond....

Come to find out, on our wedding day, he took Xanax (supposedly because he was nervous and needed something to calm his nerves). Well, everything fell apart after that. He was high and drunk for the entire honeymoon, it was a disaster. We were separated a month after the wedding. He continues to struggle with his addictions today and I refuse to live with him and subject myself or my daughter to that kind of life.

Comments for Using Drugs on Our Wedding Day

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The same thing happened to me!
by: Cheryl

Wow, I thought for a minute someone knows my personal story. I had the exact same thing happen. My soon-to-be ex-husband and I met when we were young and in college, so we drank and partied... It began to get worse for him though and on our wedding day (he took Xanax as well).

Unfortunately, I did not get out as quick as you. I spent the last 5 years with him spiraling further into and Adderall and Xanax addiction. The drinking has gotten worse as well. The worst part was how he ended it. He send a text earlier this week saying that he has found his soul mate while working on a project in another city.... In a way; it was a blessing that he sent me that because now I can finally break free.
Addiction
by: Lysa

I'm going through problems with my husband’s drug abuse as we speak. He's an IV cocaine user and although he says he wants to quit, it is only when he wants my forgiveness for screwing up yet again. We have grown so far apart, I feel like I don't even know him anymore. He ignores my texts because he says he doesn't want to argue. But in doing so he has pushed me away and we haven't worked through anything as a result. Every time he avoids me we grow farther apart. I feel like there is nothing left. I love him so much it hurts. I know I need to leave him but I just can't bring myself to do it because I can't imagine my life without him, yet I hate him. I'm so lost and confused.

I hope you all find peace and someone to love you as you deserve to be loved, as women I know that's all we really want, at least I do.
Sounds familiar
by: Doreen

Your story sounds a bit like mine. We got married in September of last year and he was my high school sweetheart. We dated for 1 1/2 years, and everything was great. In the 17 months we have been married he has left the house 6 times and went on pill binges. I have now had enough and helped him get clean each time. I have to move on or he will totally destroy me. Tanya, I wish I was strong enough in the beginning as you were. Life will go on and we will find our match.
Using Drugs on Our Wedding Day
by: Gmarks

Hello,

I'm very sorry to hear of what happen. I think the problem with booze was always in him. It was a sleeping enemy.... It's too bad you put your heart before your brains... I pray your life will heal ... which it will...
Good Choice
by: Jessica

I'm so glad that you were smart enough to get out of that situation. You are strong and you made the right decision. My only regret in my situation was that I didn't get out sooner. Good luck lady, I know it’s not easy.
Moving on
by: Tanya

Jessica thanks for your comment. I know that I am not alone. Alcohol/Substance abuse destroys individuals and families. It has been almost two years and my husband still has not gotten himself together. However, my daughter and I are together and safe. That is all that matters to me.
Not alone
by: Jessica

My husband turned 21 three months after we got married and turned into an alcoholic. He would get increasingly more violent. We were married for three years and I left because I didn't feel safe anymore. After we separated and he destroyed all my stuff, he made promises to change and that day never came. Even the simplest of tasks like getting a job like he promised, but in four months he never even filled out an application.

I have had a hard time dealing with the guilt and depression but blogging has helped me a lot. Some people are weak and no matter how much you love someone, certain situations are just toxic and it’s not your fault. I hope you can take comfort knowing that you’re not alone out there.
The proof is here
http://bbruabadfish2.blogspot.com/
if you ever need to talk I'm always around.
Abuse
by: Missy

Drugs are common reasons for failed relationships, because you cannot really expect a marriage to flourish when it only becomes the vehicle for abuse. Uncontested divorce is one solution that can bring an end to the difficulties that occur during marriage.

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